the story of jane.

I didn't plan to write out my birth story. But as the days go on and the nights get longer and my mind gets sleepier, the memories of that sweet night start to get a little foggier and foggier-- and I don't want to forget the way our perfect girl came into the world. So I will write it out and it might be long and rambley, but at least it will be remembered!

//

Throughout my pregnancy, I had an itching feeling that our girl was going to be late. I'm not exactly sure why, but I guess those mama instincts are on point. Jane was due on December 3rd, and when that day came and went I was still feeling pretty calm and relaxed about her arrival. Our midwife was well aware of our desire to go into labor naturally and promised that she wouldn't even speak the word "induction" to me until we were past 41 weeks. Well, 41 weeks came and went and our midwife decided we should probably set a date to induce. She really wanted to set the date for a day that she would be on call, so that she could be the one to deliver (which we would have LOVED) but the only day she would be on call was Friday, when I would be 41w3d. We tentatively set the induction for that day, but I didn't have a peace about it at all. At this point I was pretty emotionally exhausted and beyond ready to meet our girl, but as we left the hospital I knew if she didn't come by Friday that I would want to push the induction to Monday. All along I was certain she would come when she was ready and I didn't want my emotional exhaustion in the moment to overrule my greatest desire for labor.

As Thursday rolled around and there was no sign of baby, I went in to see my midwife and told her we wanted to wait until Monday, when I would be 41w6d, to give Jane the weekend to make her arrival. Our midwife agreed that this was a good decision, and asked if she could check me before I left to see where we stood. She checked and excitedly announced that I was walking around at 5 cm dilated and completely effaced. Without a single painful contraction. Amazing. She sent me home to walk, climb stairs, and do all the other things that make babies come out.

Friday came and went without any action, and as Saturday rolled around Brian and I woke up with one goal in mind-- get the baby out. Luckily, our minds were distracted with the anticipation of my parents arriving that night. We did a quick clean up of the house and then went down to the beach to walk, walk, walk. As we were walking, I was definitely feeling to twinges of pain, but they would stop whenever we stopped walking. I got tired and decided that I needed food. I chose our favorite indian restaurant to gorge myself with spicy curry. We went back home feeling a bit defeated and sat down on the couch to watch a sermon. At exactly 2 pm I felt what was my first painful, low down, aching contraction and as I stood up to find a more comfortable position I felt a little pop and a gush of fluid. And oh, how excited I was.

From there it got pretty intense pretty quickly, with contractions coming about 2 minutes apart from the get go. I got into the tub to labor for a little while, which helped tremendously while Brian called triage to see when they thought we should head to the hospital. We stayed home for a couple more hours moving from place to place around the house trying to find any position or place that relieved some of the pressure. All that I really remember is that the back pain was incredibly intense, and I remember praying that didn't mean she was in a posterior position. When the contractions were coming one right after another, we decided to head in.

When we got to triage and got checked out, I was at 6 cm. The doctor that checked us suggested that if we wanted to do this thing naturally, that we go walk for a bit and then come back a few hours later. I remember thinking, "I cannot possibly walk anymore. I've been walking for 2 weeks trying to get her out." But knowing we wanted a unmedicated labor, we left labor and delivery to walk the halls. Literally the second we stepped out of labor and delivery, it got REAL. I mean, really real. I felt like my back was ripping apart and I clutched onto Brian through every contraction. We tried to walk down the hallway, but I could no longer walk and just held onto Brian for dear life. At this point, I started feeling that panicky, out of control feeling as my body was taking over and doing what it needed to do. I just couldn't handle the back labor anymore and I begged Brian to take me back into labor and delivery and find someone that could give me an epidural. I needed relief. Brian, being the sweet man he is, reminded me that an epidural wasn't what I wanted and that I was strong and that I could do this! And I was all, SCREW THE PLAN and get me an epidural. And he was all, Yes ma'am.

We returned to labor and delivery and Brian let the nurse know we were ready to be admitted and that we needed an anesthesiologist ASAP. Our biggest fear in getting the epidural at this point was that it would slow down or halt the labor, but I just couldn't handle the back pain anymore and didn't care at this point. They did a quick ultrasound before the epidural to check the baby's position and realized that she was sunny side up, face up, in a posterior position, which explained the back labor. Next thing I knew the anesthesiologist arrived, gave me the drugs, and I was a much happier person. The doctor came in 30 minutes later to check me, and I was at 9 cm. I just remember her saying, "I'll be back in an hour and we will do this thing."

At this point, our sweet friends were arriving to the airport to pick up my parents and bring them straight to the hospital. About 30 minutes later, my parents arrived at the hospital and when they walked in all I can remember saying is, "Hey mom! Hey dad! Welcome to Japan! I'm about to push this baby out." At about 11:50 PM, the doctor came back in and announced that it was time.  At this point, I had started shivering/shaking pretty uncontrollably and was throwing up-- all which the nurse thought was signs of transition-- but ended up being a sign of an infection in my water. The nurse took my temp and I was at almost 104. The doctor looked at me with concern in her eyes and told me, "if you don't want a c-section, you have to push with all you have. We have to get this baby out." They called in the NICU team, knowing that Jane was sitting in infected water.

I pushed for a total of 1 hour and 13 minutes, and remember my mom saying, "Kenz, she's here" and looking at my husbands beaming face as our little love came into the world at 1:03 AM on Sunday, December 15th with a loud cry and a head full of sweet, wavy black hair and a squishy little face. I pulled her up onto my chest and immediately fell in love. I knew that she was burning up with fever as soon as I touched her and I begged them to let me do skin to skin for a few minutes before they took her away. When they took her temperature and she was running 103 degrees, so they immediately took her from me to look her over. My favorite memory of this time is yelling across the room to Brian as he watched them check her out, "Is she cute??" and his response, "I'm not really sure yet babe, the cone head is really throwing me off right now." All the medical staff let out a little chuckle at his response.







Unfortunately, due to the infection and a low blood sugar reading, they ended up taking our girl to the NICU for the next 36 hours. She proved herself to be a strong little lady as she was poked and prodded and stuck with needles multiple times. These hours are ones we are not quite as quick to relive-- as though they were short, for new parents they were scary and sad. My emotions were running high and we felt helpless and exhausted, but God was so faithful. He showed Himself mighty in our little girl as she healed quickly and was returned to us in a short time.


When we were at our lowest physically and emotionally, God revealed Himself to us through a specific NICU doctor who took time out to talk to us, pray with us, and literally shed tears with us over OUR daughter. He prayed she would grow up to know the Lord and that she would change the world through His Spirit. He prayed that our marriage would grow stronger and stronger and that Jane would know love through how Brian loves me. He reminded us that we are writing Jane's story, no body else's and that we know how to best parent her. God knew that we were in need of some encouragement and soul refreshing after a long couple of days, and He provided-- as He always does. Though our story was not exactly how we envisioned it, God was faithful and He was present and we have a beautiful, perfect, scrumptious little girl that we cannot believe belongs to us.

Happy New Year!

Well guys, my last blog post was 3 months ago and a LOT has changed, so I think it's about time to jump back on the bandwagon. My only New Year's Resolution this year is to start blogging our lives again (and to stop biting my nails but I say that every year and well... yeah).

With the addition of our little Jane, in combination with living thousands of miles away from family, it's about time to start documenting again. I know we will want to remember these first days of squishy baby skin and early morning feedings by the glow of twinkling Christmas tree lights. These days where the coffee pot is on all day and the dark circles under my eyes keep getting darker-- but I could not care less. These are good days, and they deserve to be recorded.

2013 was so great to us, and we cannot wait to see all the joy that 2014 will bring.

2012. a look back.

I already wrote a "goodbye, 2012" blogpost. 

But then I decided I wanted everything that happened in 2012 in one place. With some pictures. 

So that's what I did.

//

January: 

The first of many snowy nights in Virginia. Brian spent his nights and days out in the field doing training, while I spent my days holding, playing with, and feeding babies as I nannied for 7 month old triplets. I also got to start a bible study with some of the other wives that ended up being such a blessing to my heart. I miss those ladies! We spent a night with our dear friends, Luke and Kate, in a swanky hotel in DC just for fun.

February:

I spent many of my nights watching Brian do work, write orders, study, etc. We traveled to North Carolina to send Brian's older brother Kirk off to Afghanistan. I made a trip home to Charlotte while Brian was in the field again. And we got to spend our first married Valentine's day together! We really enjoyed our cozy little apartment and loved having people over to feed them dinner. 

March:

I started a blog! New Years Resolution only 3 months late. I wasn't that great about writing posts, but I'm working on it! We found out Brian received ground supply as his job and it took us a while to come around to the idea of it. My love turned 23 and we celebrated with some sweet friends. One of my best friends, Megan, came to visit me and I got to show her our life in Quantico. I spent lots of my nights with Kate, Angela, and Lauren while our boys were out in the field. 

April: 

We found out we were moving to Japan! And we were so excited. I had four of my favorite little ladies and their awesome mama come visit me while Brian was again out in the field. We had the best long weekend together exploring around DC. We spent lots of our weekends with Luke and Kate. And Brian and Luke always fell asleep. And we went to a NeedtoBreathe concert. 

May:

I celebrated my 23 birthday with sweet girl friends since Brian was gone that night. Brian graduated from The Basic School! Both sets of our parents and Brian's brother, Evan, came to his graduation. My cousin Adam, and his girlfriend, Liz, came to visit us and we showed them around DC.  We made a trip to Brian's alma mater, VMI, for an engagement party. Then we got to take a quick getaway to celebrate one year of marriage. The best year of our lives. 

June:

We spent a lot of June on the road traveling to and fro. Trying to see as many family and friends as possible. Just taking every opportunity to spend quality time with the people we love. We loved being together, as we spent much of the past 6 months apart. We went to my cousin's wedding and then spent a week at home in Charlotte. We said bye to friends in Virginia and packed up our stuff to send to Japan (which, still hasn't made it to us!). Brian headed to North Carolina for training and I headed to Mississippi be in a wedding of my oldest, sweetest childhood friend, Bethany. And we got to spend a week at the beach with Brian's family. It was so relaxing and fun. 

July:

I was in a wedding of one of my besties from high school and college, Carly. It was so fun to be back in Chapel Hill celebrating two wonderful people. We moved into a hotel in Jacksonville, NC and lived in close quarters. It was fun sometimes and not fun other times. We spent a lot of weekends at the beach either with my wonderful parents or in Beaufort, NC with Sarah and Bedford and all their fun friends. Our great friend Nathan came with us on many of our beach adventures, though we were missing his wife Ellie, who was deployed. We also developed a great friendship with new friends, Jesse and Katy. 

August:

I took a fun trip to Denver and Boulder to visit friends and go to Brian's cousins wedding. It was such a fun trip, but I was bummed to have to leave Brian back home. Back in Jacksonville, I spent my mornings working out at Curves and Brian got to come home for lunch everyday. I made a trip to the beach to spend a girl's weekend with my mama, and then another to spend a weekend with my nana and my aunt and uncle. 

September:

Kirk came home from Afghanistan! We got to go welcome him home in Fayetteville and we were so so thankful for his safe return. We spent labor day weekend at home in Charlotte and cherished more family time. Brian graduated from Ground Supply Officers Course! He worked so hard and I was so proud of him. We headed back home to Charlotte to spend the last few weeks with family before our big move. We had multiple going away parties, got to spend time with all our siblings, and felt so loved by the people around us. 

October:

My two best friends came and spent my last day in Charlotte with me. October 3rd, we left for Japan! Tearful airport goodbyes with our parents, but were so excited for the road ahead. We spent a night and day in Seattle and had the best time thanks to Brian's sis, Erin, who has the inside scoop on Seattle life. We flew through Iwakuni and Yakota, and then finally arrived on Okinawa on October 5th. We went to the Naha Tug of War and were baptized by fire into the Okinawa culture. We were totally delirious because of the time difference and had no idea what was going on, but it was fun. We bought a car and started exploring as soon as possible. We got moved into our home and lived a floor away from our friends, Nick and Sarah. We visited the aquarium and spent our weekends just driving around/learning to drive on the left side of the road. And we ate enough sushi to kill a small human. 

November:

We found a church that we love here and immediately got plugged into a community group. We continued to meet new friends through church and where we live. We developed a fast and awesome friendship with another couple in our building, Joel and Jenni. Brian's job was busy busy, but he always had the best perspective. He works with great people, so we are thankful for that. We got to go to 2 Marine Corps birthday balls which was a great way to get to know the people Brian works with. We did lots more exploring of the island and had our first Japanese karaoke experience. We spent Thanksgiving surrounded by friends, new and old, and were thankful for being on this beautiful island. 

December:

We started making our house feel like a home, even though we have yet to receive our shipment. We bought a couch, a TV, and a few other pieces of furniture. We spent our weekends cozied up by the Christmas tree watching movies and being lazy. Brian's work days are long and we love love love spending our weekends together. We skyped and facetimed with family back home a lot and we're so thankful for technology. We had 12 Marines over for breakfast on Christmas morning and loved having a dining table full of friends. We took a drive out to Cape Zanpa on Christmas day just for fun. We brought in the new year playing monopoly with friends and are so happy to be here in Japan. 

//

And congrats for making it to the end. We can now officially put 2012 to rest. 

Happy New Year, dear friends!

sayonara, 2012. konnichiwa, 2013.

2012. What a great year you have been. A year full of adventure and change. A new country, new community, new friends, new home, new church, new jobs, new (old!) cars, etc. etc. 

When Brian and I sat down to reflect on the past year, we were completely amazed and utterly overwhelmed by the favor and blessing of the Lord on our lives. We remain thankful that we serve a Creator that sees the big picture. That we serve a God that says no to the things that we think we want/need, so that He can blow us away by His goodness to us when He reveals the better plan. And that even though Brian and I never thought we would be here in Japan, and never thought Brian would be doing the job that he is doing-- God knew. And He was preparing the way and working on our behalf long before we knew the details. 

I am so thankful that for once I followed through on a new years resolution-- to start a blog. Now we have pictures and words forever documented that help tell our story. So I think that will be my resolution again, to blog. To write out the story of our lives and the never ending faithfulness of God. We want to remember it all, the insignificant and the important. 

We know that these are the days that we will tell our children about. We will tell them about life in a 500 sq. foot apartment in Virginia. And living in a hotel room in North Carolina. And about the time that I was walking through Target to buy qtips and trashbags and Brian called me and said, "Hey, guess what? We're moving to Japan." We will tell them about the lifelong friendships we made along the way, and how much we love love love being together-- the two of us. 2012 is a great story for us to tell. 

I can't even imagine what 2013 will bring for us. I know it will start off with some dear friends moving to Okinawa! And then a trip to Tokyo. And then a deployment (boo!). 

Bring it on, 2013. We are ready for you. 

naha tug of war.

The day after we arrived on island we kept hearing people talk about this huge tug-of-war in Naha, the capitol of Okinawa. We knew if we stayed in our hotel room we would probably just fall asleep, so we decided to cab it to downtown Naha to see what all this chit chat was about.

Yall. It was craziness. The largest tug of war in the world. They close down the main roadway in downtown to make room for the rope. We weren't actually close enough to participate, but I'm not sad about it because people were getting all kinds of sweaty and gross tugging on that rope. It was fun to watch and a good introduction to Okinawan culture for sure. There is a lot of history behind the tug of war that we didn't find out about until after, so we didn't really understand what we were watching-- but it was certainly interesting anyways. You can read more about the history behind it here.

It's also customary and tradition for people to cut off strands of the rope, as the rope is said to bring good luck throughout the year. There were literally elderly women with hacksaws and razor blades fighting to the front to slice off the biggest piece of rope they could find. This isn't an exaggeration. I sent Brian into the craziness to try and bribe one of the women to cut us off a piece-- he was victorious and miraculously returned to me unscathed!

There was also a parade through the streets of Naha before hand with all different types of cultural productions. My favorite part was the little ninja boys. Cutest. Thing. Ever.

This was the very middle of the rope, but gives you an idea of the thickness. It was huge.

 These are my friends Ashley and Sarah (look mom! i have friends! aren't you proud?), they are great. 

We also got our first daytime view of the beach! Beauty. 

We are kiiiiinda loving this place already. Except for the fact that it felt like a vacation until Brian left this morning to check into work. Then it felt like real life. 

we have arrived!

Just a quick post to let everyone know that we have arrived in Okinawa, safe and sound! After lots of waiting, and flying, and getting off the plane, and reboarding the plane-- we are here!  Charlotte to Salt Lake City to Seattle to Yokota to Iwakuni to Okinawa. Bam.

Our sponsor (person from Brian's unit assigned to help with getting us settled in) has been so kind and helpful. She picked us up last night at the airport and is coming today to take us around the island. We are so thankful to be here and we are ready to get out and explore. We are staying in temporary lodging right now, but should be getting a permanent place by the end of this week. We are also going out today to look for phones and cars.

We don't feel super jet-lagged yet and got really good sleep last night, so we are praying that we can keep our eyes open today and fight off the sleepiness. From what we have seen so far, this island is beautiful. We have a view of the East China Sea from our hotel room and palm trees right outside our window. We thought it would be super muggy and humid and I'm sure it will be at some point, but the weather right now is really mild and comfortable. Thankful for that.

We will keep you all posted as we settle in and make this place home. Also, can't wait to write about our day in Seattle, it was perfect. Love you all. Thank you for the prayers, love, support, etc. etc. We feel so unbelievably blessed by the people in our lives.

Charlotte Airport-- definitely felt like people were judging us (like the guy in the background, for instance) for the amount of luggage we had. I felt the need to apologize to everyone about how much we had and to justify myself every chance I had like, "we really usually are simple, light packers.. it's just that we are moving to japan..."

Everything made it to Seattle (and Okinawa). Praise! 

Dinner in the Seattle Space Needle. 

Seattle sunset, seriously? Gorgeous.

245 AM airport picture. Strugglin.

Lots and lots of ocean. Pretty, but a little terrifying. I tried not to look that much. 

Ok, off to buy phones and cars and eat sushi. Lots of love from us to you.

weddings, moving, vacay, and life.

Ya know, I didn't promise much from this blog until I get to Japan-- so no guilt trips for not writing for almost a month. 

What have we been doing? Where are we living? Who even really knows.

Here is the last month in a nutshell.

I traveled to Mississippi for the wedding of a DEAR childhood friend, Bethany. The wedding was so sweet and simple and just lovely. Yall, Mississippi is another world. No joke. I was referred to as the girl from up north (north carolina, really?) and I found myself trying to talk with a country accent. 

Mississippi eatin', ya I could get used to that.

Pretty, pretty bride!

While I was in the dirty, dirty south Brian was busy packing up our life in Virginia to ship half of it to Japan, and bring the other half to Jacksonville with us. 

We will always remember our first home together. It was nothing special to look at-- but it was ours and we got to make a life together there and bring people into our home and it was real sweet.

Then somewhere in the middle of all the craziness, we got to spend a WONDERFUL week at the beach with Brian's family (missed you Kirk!). It was easy and comfortable and oh so refreshing to be with family. Vacation is key. 

Ivie.

 Max. 

After the beach, we literally threw our stuff into a hotel room and I hit the road to Charlotte to spend a few nights with some of my favorite kids. 

Then, I spent the fourth of July celebrating one of my high school, college, and Ghana besties, Carly. She married her best friend this past weekend and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It was such a fun weekend of reunion and celebration and so much love. 

Happy 4th!

 The GORGEOUS bride at the rehearsal.

 Yay for high school friend reunions! 

Did I mention the wedding was fun? SO fun.

Now, I'm here. In Jacksonville. Back with my husband and feeling somewhat normal after traveling all over the place. We are living in a hotel for the next 10 weeks and I might go stir crazy. But I'm trying hard to enjoy down time and make the most of it and really be where the Lord has me. 

 Hanging out in the bedroom, while the guys study in the living room. It's all the same.

Aaaaaand, we are caught up!

konnichiwa

Well, here we go. When we got married we asked the Lord for an adventure and He answered. Big time.

Back Story: Tuesday morning Brian called me and said he had gotten web orders online for our next duty station. After the previous shock of receiving Ground Supply, we were really hoping and praying for an awesome duty station. Brian's first words to me were, "it's God's will," and my heart sank. I knew "it's God's will" meant North Carolina. See, we got to rank our duty stations and we ranked East Coast last. Now, before all our lovely east coast friends and family get angry about this you should know this-- we did this because we are pretty sure that one day we will settle back down in North Carolina. For the time being we just wanted to GO. EXPLORE. Figure out life and marriage and adventure.

So we spent about 24 hours thinking we were going to be back in NC for the next three years. We weren't angry, but we weren't excited. We were just trying hard to believe that it was what God had for us.

So that brings us to Wednesday night. I'm walking through Target to get QTips and garbage bags (obviously really important to the story) and Brian calls with a super excited voice. He's all, "BABE, I HAVE GOOD NEWS!" And I'm all, "FINALLY!" He continued on to tell me that his web orders were wrong and we would no longer be moving to NC.

So here is our news: We are moving to..... OKINAWA, Japan! Japan ya'll, JAPAN! Three years; more specifically 36 months. And you should come visit. Cause it's a tropical island. And beautiful.

We will be here in Virginia until the middle of June, and then will move to North Carolina for 8 weeks while Brian in in supply school. After supply school we will be off to the land of sushi and cherry blossoms (seriously, this is all I know about Japan). We are so excited and are ready for the adventure that will come! We covet your prayers as there is so much to be done before we leave. Pray that God would go before us and prepare the way. That he would provide strong community and relationships for us and that our marriage would grow exponentially as we learn to lean on one another. And that He would continually calm our hearts and remind us that this truly is His plan.

And please. Come visit.

And because I have no other pictures to share of this momentous occasion: here is why you should come visit...